Telegram art job channels
July 12, 2025
Dear Diary, Scrolling through Telegram channels with “art jobs” feels less like opportunity and more like anthropology. Institutions are asking for a single curator who can also be a producer, a fundraiser, a designer, a manager, a social media strategist, and, preferably, a magician—while offering something like 50,000 rubles (around €500) a month. The collapse of multiple roles into one underpaid contract is not just exhausting, it’s a way of normalizing scarcity as the default condition of artistic labor.
Networking with designers..again
August 5, 2025
Dear Diary, When I end up around designers, the conversation usually circles around software—plugins, rendering tricks, which neural network now makes the best 3D models. I don’t have much to add. What interests me is different: the medium itself, how people use tools, the politics behind choosing open-source instead of proprietary programs. For me it’s less about polishing a model and more about what those choices say about the systems we work in. I often feel like I don’t quite fit into these discussions, but at the same time I know I still need to find the connections that might turn out to be useful later.
Proposals, Proposals, Proposals...
August 15, 2025
Dear Diary, An entire day can disappear into residency applications. Each has its own form, its own word count, its own logic, so I keep bending the same ideas into slightly different shapes. By evening the sentences blur, and the project I’m describing feels less and less like itself. The response, when it comes, is usually silence or a polite refusal. After a while, this cycle feels less like an exception and more like the usual rhythm of things. What magical ritual could possibly break this circle?
Can't focus on reading
August 22, 2025
Dear Diary, I want to read but my attention keeps drifting back to open calls and deadlines. Every pause turns into a quick calculation: what’s due soon, what I should be drafting next. I just can't focus,,, my mind is already trained to skim, to plan, to jump ahead. Instead of sinking into a text, I often find myself glancing at calendars and notes, half-reading, half-applying. And the worst thing is that I'm always tired.
